questions, reflections

I live as a white, educated North American. I could turn my head and choose not to encounter any ideas or images that would disrupt my comfortable position. Instead, I absorb and analyse them, become enraged, cry, and scream, trying to understand how to work with them and create change. I also question my role in the change process. Where do I fit? As a white activist, I work with First Nations communities to challenge oppression and racism. As a woman, I seek out male allies who will walk by my side in the struggle to end sexism. In every space my role shifts. At all times, I can embody the oppressor and the oppressed.

The complexity of my identity, the entangled layers that constitute who I am, lead me to question where it is appropriate to challenge oppression. When should I step back? Yet, I cannot let these questions immobilize me. I cannot remain in the centre. I refuse to claim neutrality, thereby placing the onus of creating a more just world on others, for it is my complicity that adds to the perpetuation of the inequitable world in which we live. And if I choose to keep my mouth shut or turn a blind eye, I am maintaining the status quo.

So as the burning within me to make a difference grows stronger, I struggle with questions of insider/outsider, identity, solidarity, and ally. And yet, I must maintain the ability to act.